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Build up emotional strength

WHEN you face uncertainties in life and your career, you are never sure how long the situation will last. Life sometimes throws challenges at you that do not have a quick-fix formula. If you are not careful, it can drag you down into a rut. 

It is these kinds of situations that you need to prepare for by developing your emotional fitness (EF). 

Emotional fitness is the ability to develop a sustained capacity to thrive when the going gets tough. Just as you need to be physically fit to run a very long race, you need emotional fitness when you have to handle a crisis or some prolonged challenging situation that confronts and confounds you. 

In these circumstances, it takes tremendous emotional energy to remain motivated. However, your ability to ride this wave of uncertainty is what makes you an outstanding person. 

To achieve emotional fitness, you need to develop four personal qualities that will help you cope with challenges that come your way. 

1 Be patient 

This is perhaps the most important quality for emotional fitness. There are some problems that cannot be solved overnight. 

If you hit the gym every day and hope to have a body like Arnold Schwarzenegger in a week, it is just not going to happen. Some people look for quick fixes like taking muscle enhancement medication. But there may be side effects that may not be a good thing for your body in the long run. 

Similarly, if you have a recurrent problematic situation that saps your emotional energy, be patient and work towards the best solution — even if it takes a longer time. There is an ancient Chinese saying that says: “It takes many droplets to make the mighty ocean.” 

Break your problem into small achievable steps and enjoy the little victories every time you solve a small aspect of the problem. These little victories will help you stay focused and motivate you towards handling the larger problem objectively and effectively. 

2 Develop a spiritual centre 

This means accepting who you are and what you can do. In the consumer- driven society that we live in, we often want things that other people have. We are discontented and unhappy if we are unable to “keep up” with neighbours, friends and relatives. 

If you can afford a big car, then go for it! But if you want the big car because your neighbour or colleague has got one and you want to compete with him, stop and examine your priorities and values. 

You may realise that you don’t need the car or that you are going to have a tough time servicing the loan. This financial burden will distract you from other things you consider important in your life, such as spending more time with your family or doing volunteer work. 

Part of the process of developing selfesteem is to do things that make you feel good about yourself. Try writing down all your strong points as well as your weaknesses. 

You will appreciate your own talents and be better able to start working on your weak points. You may even be motivated enough to get help for your “problem” areas. 

3 Make a paradigm shift 

In his book, Principle-centered Leadership, Stephen R. Covey mentions that if you want to make minor improvements, work on your attitudes and behaviour. 

But to make major improvements in your life, he suggests that you work on paradigms. A paradigm is a way of thinking. Sometimes we feel emotionally sapped because of the way we think. If something is not working for you, it could be that you are trapped in a certain way of thinking. 

Try looking at the challenge from a different perspective. Talk to someone you trust to see how he might handle the situation. For all you know, he may have a solution that is right for you. As inspirational speaker Richard L. Evans said: “Don’t let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was.” 

4 Engage in positive self-reflection 

Learn to always see yourself as a positive and successful person. There may be things you did that you are not proud of or you may have had a failed relationship or a troubled past. Not forgiving yourself for things that have already happened is not going to change the past. You need to acknowledge what has happened to you, where or why things went wrong and look to the future. 

Try to think of the many times you were successful and feel heartened by them. You will not be able to identify potential solutions to your problems by dwelling on the past. 

Take a cue from Henry Ford, who once said: “Life is a series of experiences, each one of which makes us bigger, even though it is hard to realise this. For the world was built to develop character, and we must learn that the setbacks and grief which we endure help us in marching onwards.”  

– Source: Straits Times/Asia News Network 

Article contributed by Daniel Theyagu, a keynote speaker and seminar leader for conferences and training programmes.

A LEADER MUST LISTEN

Build An A-Team

IF YOU are managing a team, ask yourself these questions:

• How well is your team performing?
• How much more could you be getting out of it?
• What is holding it back from greatness?
• Are the people on your team glad they are there?
• How could you support them even better?
• How does your leadership harm or enrich your team?

If you want your team to live up to their potential, you have to approach team-building from a different mindset. Modern teambuilding requires more than bureaucratic, heavy-handed rules and regulations, and command and control mandates.

It requires updated, creative and flexible people-centred strategies that are aligned with organisational objectives. Only then can your team produce results that will catapult the organisation forward.

Here are 12 executive leadership strategies for building a world-class team that can compete with anyone.

1 Make your team nimble, fast and flexible. The best teams learn and perform on the fly. Build in flexibility and mobility in your team.

2 Have more teams of smaller size. Make your team size manageable and dedicated to specific issues they can tackle quickly and successfully.

3 Make sure each team has a unifying vision and mandate. A team vision is a winning vision. Create an inspiring view of what the team will do once it is successful.

4 Turn your team members into learning machines. A team that learns well is a team that succeeds. Help it to learn continuously and enthusiastically.

5 Give your team a special identity. It could be a motto or a work tool that will make it stand out and feel special. Give it something to brag about and be well-known for.

6 Continually raise the selfesteem of your team. Assume your team will succeed mightily. Tell your team members you have complete faith in them and how much you appreciate their efforts.

7 Give your team decisionmaking autonomy. Enhance team communication and smoothen processes by allowing as many intra-team decisions as possible. Reduce the organisational drag on your team.

8 Allow your team to be a creative factory. Honour and encourage innovation so your teams can lead the edge. Respect bold forays into the unknown and reward big thinking.

9 Give your team a nourishing, challenging environment. Supply your team with everything it needs for success. Support, encourage and nudge your team, and then get out of its way and let it succeed.

10 Make your team a living, breathing entity, not a bureaucracy. Slash the paperwork, the reporting and the ponderous meetings. Allow your team to infuse projects with its own blood and energies.

11 Give your team a crisp, open communication architecture. Construct a friendly, smart and responsive feedback system and watch it succeed.

12 Know when not to have a team. A smart leader knows when a team should not be a team. Stop forcing inappropriate work on a team and let the members do the important work they were built to do.

Teams must be respected for what they are capable of when fortified with the proper organisational nutrients and be allowed to run with their mandates. To catapult your team to new heights, get out of its way and trust your team members to perform to their potential.

– Source: Straits Times/Asia News Network

Article by Bill Cole, an authority on peak performance, mental toughness and coaching, and founder and CEO of Procoach Systems

Deliver on what you promise

How many people promise to get back to you with that quote, order, report or anything else for that matter and actually do it?  

Many people do not deliver on their promises. They do not realise that they lose people’s trust and their credibility goes down the drain. This leads to the loss of goodwill too. Would you refer business to them and feel confident that they can look after an important client or be responsible for finalising a special project?  

Smooth sailing

A few months ago, I decided to finally buy a home entertainment system. I don’t like to waste time visiting the relevant stores and having to sift through conflicting opinions as to what would suit my needs. So I rang a local retailer and asked if he knew someone who could come to my home and then make suitable recommendations.  

I was referred to an installer who regularly purchased goods from the store. He wasn’t contracted to this company, but the manager had his business card.  

Normally this could be risky as the retailer could not tell me whether this man was either good or bad. However, I decided to call John anyway.  

I was pleasantly surprised. John was easy to deal with and he acted very professionally. Here is what made him stand out:  

• He answered his phone in a professional and friendly manner.   
• He spoke with confidence.   
• He arrived at my home at the agreed time.   
• He was dressed appropriately.  
• His mobile phone was switched off. John obviously realised the most important person at that time was me and being interrupted by calls would take his attention away from me, his prospective customer.   
• He listened to what I said and understood what I wanted.   
• He was knowledgeable about the products available.   
• He promised to contact me the next day with his recommendations.  
• And to top it all off, he produced a diary and wrote everything in it. I was impressed. I knew at that point he wouldn’t let me down.  

True to his word, John contacted me. In fact, he sent me an e-mail listing all his recommendations and costs. He also suggested I look at the equipment first.  

Now that I had the recommendation with me, I headed off to the local retailer, and was able to check out the specific equipment. I confidently made the decision to purchase everything from John.  

I also checked out similar equipment to ensure I was getting the best deal. It was easy to do now that I had a specific list of my requirements. All it took was a couple of phone calls.  

I rang John and confirmed my order and had my new system installed without a hitch. 

Broken promises 

Next, I wanted to update my mobile phone and spoke to Jason who ran his own business. He promised to contact me with suitable recommendations.  

That was a month ago and I never heard from him. I happened to run into him recently and he promised to get back to me. Again, he let me down. What a contrast to John! 

On both occasions, Jason didn’t write anything down. So guess what happened? He has forgotten, and unfortunately for him, he has lost a sale.  

If someone needs a mobile phone, I wouldn’t refer him to Jason. If he is this unreliable before you even strike a deal, how good will he be when something goes wrong with the phone?  

Jason works long hours and for the time he spends in his business, he’s not achieving the results he wants. It’s easy to see why.  

Write it down 

From what I observe, people make promises verbally and then do not write the details down immediately in their diary so they can remember to follow up. As long as they look in their diary and take action, there’s no chance of them forgetting!  

It’s as simple as that. Research shows that we have between 50,000 to 60,000 thoughts running through our brain each day! How can you remember everything? You have to write it down.  

For those of you who love technology, you can still follow the same rules as using a paper diary.  

John made it easy for me to buy from him. He did what he said he would do. Although I knew nothing about him, the way he presented himself gave me confidence in his ability.  

Of course I’ll refer him to everyone who needs to set up and install a home entertainment system. 

It doesn’t take much effort to stand out from the crowd. Just keep your promises and gain a good reputation. Do what you promise, otherwise why bother in the first place?  

– Source: Straits Times/Asia News Network

Article by Lorraine Pirihi, a leading Australian productivity coach and speaker.